HamLeT Sandwich

HamLeT's Sandwich Soliloquy


With cheese or not with cheese--that is the question:
Whether 'tis tastier on the buds to smother
With jack or cheddar of a ripe aroma
Or to spear olives with a brace of pickles
And thus enhance the flavour. To bite, to eat--
No more--and by a snack to say we end
The hunger, and the thousand stomach rumbles
That smite our ear so. 'Tis a consumption we
Hope quickly to be dished. To bite, to eat--
To eat--perchance to taste: ay there's the grub,
For in that bread of life what tastes may come
When we have shoveled every morsel in,
Must give us gas: there's the report
That makes calamity of such full fare.
For who would wear the stains and spills of lunch,
Th' tomato pips, the bilious attack,
The pangs of hunger lost, digest's delay,
The torturing of heartburn, and the spots
Balsamic dressing makes upon his robe,
When he himself might his luncheon take
At poor MacDonald's? Who would diets bear,
To skimp and fast truncating ev'ry meal,
But for the dread of wind to follow
The social climber's curse, from whose gust
No charmer can escape, befogs the brain,
And makes us rather bear the aches we have
Than chomp pastrami with such spicy sauce?
Thus conscience does make fasters of us all,
And thus the beauty of a fresh repast
Is sicklied o'er with the green cast of mould,
And sandwiches both large and meaty
With this regard their slices hard and dry
Have lost their freshest flavour. -- Soft you now,
The fair Pavlova! -- Sweet, in thy silken folds
Be all my teeth embedded.

See also We Don't Need No Stinking Warrants!.

Copyright 2006 David J Nixon. All rights reserved.
Contact us at nxn [at] netgate.net.